Monday, April 8, 2013

motherhood is not a competition

Lately when I make an actual scrapbook layout, it's to either document a favorite photo or tell a longer story. I don't typically rant / vent / preach in my scrapbooking (well, perhaps privately, hidden on a Project Life journaling card) but this topic had been on my mind for a couple months and had to be written down.
In a nutshell, the journaling is based on some feelings that come + go about motherhood. When I first wrote it (and it was much much longer at the time) I was feeling frustrated by women, mothers, who feel the need to put each other down for what we do and don't do for our children + families. The ones who feel the need to one-up each other. The ones who like to throw their opinions around (especially when no one asked for it) and think the way they mother their children is 'the right way.' I could go on and on. 
Journaling reads : Being a mother. It's the most rewarding job I've ever had. It's also the hardest. And it comes with a lot of unnecessary judgments from other women. Other mothers. Why do we do that? Let's stop with the guilt and opinions and bring on the support and compassion. Let's assume we are all doing the very best we can to mother our children. What works for you might not work for me. No one knows my family better than I do. And I'm not perfect, but neither are you. And that's ok.
I don't like to argue but even more I don't like to feel personally attacked because of my choices. They are after all, my choices. I don't know a mother out there that doesn't get defensive or protective of her family when their values are being questioned. Women are so damn harsh with one another it has resulted in me choosing my friends very wisely. Sometimes I can ignore the crap, sometimes I can't. I don't think I'm alone.
Phew. So that's where this layout came from. Creatively, it was an experiment with lots of black and white from the new collections at Studio Calico plus a great pop of color, mostly from those ombre aqua thickers I used for the title.

You can see this layout and full supply list here at Two Peas in a Bucket. Happy Monday!

8 comments:

  1. well said and perfectly executed. :) xo

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  2. So true!!! Beautiful layout and I have to admit that I'm a tiny bit envious of your handwriting.

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  3. been there more than once and I expect I'll be there again but you've said it beautifully. thanks for sharing. it's a lovely concept for a page - to talk about your parenting philosophy - so our kids can see when they're older that we were doing our best.

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  4. Great page. Love your sincere and open journaling. Thanks for sharing this :)

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  5. Love this. I made it through high school and college without any major waves, but man, motherhood has been tough. Crazy. I often get told I'm too sensitive or too much. Other mothers have been some of the "meanest girls" I've ever encountered. It's nice to see that other moms feel the way I do, even if I can't find too many of them in my real life. It's also interesting because I have also gotten so paranoid because people sometimes take my choices as judgement on them. Even though I am just doing what works for us and NOT COMMENTING or preaching about it. It's weird; I almost feel apologetic or guilty because my kids don't watch a lot of TV and can't play video games except once a week. It's not pretty when they do so that's what I can handle. It's just what works for them and my sanity, but I get that backhanded compliment, "Oh, you're such a good mom." Ick. I choose to buy organic apples--really, do you have to give me a hard time about that, too? Every day I go back and replay a moment I wish I could have "mothered" differently...but every day, I try not to get stuck in that moment and press play and do the best I can at the moment. Talk about "phew"...I apparently had the need to get that out. Thanks for the post! :)Beautiful lay out and wonderful words.

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  6. Very very well said! I haven't been a mother for long, but I am definitely learning that what works for some people doesn't always work for others. Like you said, no one knows your family better than you and no one sees everything that goes on in your family either, so they don't have the right to pass judgments. There isn't just one right way to parent. All that said, I have also learned to sometimes watch my own comments that might just be mere observations come off as though I'm passing judgment and realize it might be better to just not say anything so it doesn't come off the wrong way. Parenting (and life) is a work in progress, right?!?

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